Acceptance and Surrender.
Surrender doesn't mean giving up the things you love. It means giving up the things that stand in the way of what you really want.
Acceptance means, accepting how things are in any given moment.
If we are in a state of acceptance, it means we are not, in that moment, resisting how things are.
These words, when misunderstood, bring about a response of fear and defence.
When we talk about accepting things as they are and surrendering to the moment, people generally bring up examples of extremes to try and defend how non acceptance and resistance are far better options.
When we are resisting, we are saying to the present reality, this shouldn't be, this can’t be, I don’t want it to be, it’s not fair, this is not how I planned it etc, etc.
Saying this does not change the reality of the situation you find yourself in at that moment but it does create resistance, feelings of fear, anger, hurt, judgement, blame, denial, etc. When we are in a state of denial, when we are experiencing the feelings of resistance, we become closed to many other options that may present themselves.
We are saying NO to what is actually happening NOW.
This no is based on opinions, beliefs, ego and makes us at war with what actually IS.
When we are in full surrender, we are accepting what is happening and allowing all other possibilities to present themselves, other solutions and options that, if in a state of resistance, are not available to us - as we are too busy being at war.
By no means does it mean, lay down and die, give in to unreasonable behaviour or demands but it does mean allowing a new space to enter the situation which can change the circumstances in an instance.
By not being at war, by saying YES to what is happening, we are not condoning it, we are just recognising that it is how it is in that moment. Whether your ego wanted it that way or not, that is how it is right NOW so entering a state of acceptance gives you freedom of opportunity and power, amongst a great many other things. You feel much better, more expanded and alive, instead of fearful, frustrated, angry, resentful, forceful or using aggression.
By changing how we function in any given moment we immediately change our experience, our reality.
All you have to do is change your relationship to the present moment. Begin by bringing awareness into how you FEEL in any given moment, the truth lies there, in the felt sense, it’s as simple as “do you feel expanded or contracted?” Begin by just noticing.
Stay out of the mind, it will taint the story, the truth lies in the feeling. Paying attention to how you feel and not reacting from it is a great start to changing your reality. Accept how you feel, pay attention to what happens when you surrender, what the expansion that follows....and breath, don't forget to breath.