We are all so good at externalising blame. We do it habitually and without thinking.
It's her fault, it's the weathers fault, well she did that so what else was I doing to do?
How dare he?
It's just the planets alignments right now.
That damn shop keeper, how dare she.
It's not my fault.
It was my bosses fault.
He is just an arsehole!
What else was I supposed to do after she said THAT to me?
Through our identification with thought as fact, blame has become an instant reaction.
Do you ever stop to see what part you played it a situation?
So often in sessions when we are exploring issues, blame arises and then when we start to explore the blame, justification comes in.
But I had a good reason....she did it to me....he deserved it etc.
That idiot cut me off, of course I got angry!!
He was so rude, what else was I supposed to do?
I can't just let him get away with it...he needed to know he was wrong.
I know from my own self exploration that I always have a part to play in everything.
I choose everything I say and do, either consciously or unconsciously.
I am responsible for how I view the world. I am responsible for how I live and participate in the world. I am responsible for the expectations I have of others to behave, respond, act a certain way. I am responsible for everything that I participate in.
Sounds like a big responsibility.
When we explore blame, again, people come up with the greatest and most horrific examples to question, ready to justify their position in having someone or something to blame. It is as if it is easier to hang on to justification of blame, defence of the ego, than to even approach it with even a cautious investigation!!
We are all responsible for what goes on inside ourselves. We are all responsible for how we interact with the world no matter what the world has presented us with. No matter what outer circumstances we are seemingly presented with it is our inner state that will dictate how we respond.
If we are in resistance we will contract and go into habitual patterns of behaviour.
If we are in acceptance we will have more choice in how we respond. We bring a great power of consciousness to the situation.
How often do you find yourself blaming something for a mood, an event, a choice you made or a reaction you had? How often do you say that you have "no choice" to justify your position or decision.
If we all stepped out of our habitual programmed thinking and into the eternal, expansive consciousness that we are, we would find answers to everything that plagues us as a society and individually.
If you are a truth seeker, question your every motive, thought, reaction. Does it come from a preconceived expectation or program? Is it limiting the possibility of the outcome?
Sometimes the idea of questioning ourselves is overwhelming. I understand that. It is like standing in front of an incredible mess in your closet and not knowing where to start so you close the door and find it easier to walk away.
Take one moment at a time.
Reflect in the evenings before you go to sleep.
Watch the energy patterns, the reactions inside your body as you interact with the world or in moments of quiet.
Watch the thoughts in your mind, see if they alter your perception of what is really happening.
Chose any of these as a starting point and start to own what you are, who you are and what you bring to your experience of life. If it is not what you want, then are you ready to change it?
It can only improve your own experience, what better reason is there than that?
Take a deep breath.
Start where you are now.
Death of this body is a given.
It is a non negotiable fact.
If you have the experience of life here on earth, then the experience of death is a certainty.
It is not a surprise or shock to find that death happens to us all.
So why do we react the way we do around the subject of death?
In theory, we all know we are going to die. In reality, most of us do not want to think, talk or even really consider death as something that will happen to us or to those we love.
In fact, many people act truly surprised when death enters their world in some shape or form.
In our society, death is seen as a pretty morbid and taboo subject. We whisper about it and are generally uncomfortable and sombre on the subject.
Death just is.
Why are we so frightened of something that is a non negotiable part of life?
Where, in our belief system is the issue that creates this fear?
We can't hide from it and yet we try to, by the way we leave the subject unexplored.
Everything that lives, plant, animal, human, every living thing dies or changes form. It is inescapable and yet we deny and shun the subject.
Death is inevitable. The circumstances may not be what you expected, if you expected any at all, but its not something to be shocked at. Grief, sadness, anger, resistance at the timing, feeling the loss, they are all part of our experience of losing someone we love and can be a very natural process to move through.
There are those who believe human life is eternal and seek ways to extend life, spending their time here looking for ways to prolong life. I always feel they are missing the point a little. (of course you are free to spend your time anyway you choose). Those who feel the words "eternal life" mean literally to be in human form eternally will undertake many things to try to stay in the human form they are in, often making the time they have here quite painful.
I feel that "life" is to be "lived", here and now. In this moment it is experienced fully, completely and freely. The more you are experiencing life, truly with what is, you expand into a realisation that you are, you just ARE life and therefore, you cannot die.
Everything is always changing, change is the nature of form and yet behind it lies an eternal awareness, one that is everywhere and every thing, all at once.
What is unchanging cannot die.
Our forms, our identities and our bodies "die", (change form) but being doesn't. The deeper you allow yourself to explore the formless and just be, the more you gain faith in the fact that you are pure consciousness itself. The mind has created an identity through which to experience this life.
You can experience now with the awareness of knowing that this is not who you are.
How liberating is this, to realise that all you see is a field in which to play and experience but it is not who you are!
I found this exhilarating and while it was not the primary focus of my path of inquiry, it was what I found to be true beyond doubt, beyond all and brought more peace than I was looking for or could understand in all I had read and learnt with my mind was possible.
This realisation means that you are free to be who you are all the time! Imagine, all the time!
You can, with awareness, chose how you react to things, how you feel and experience things.
You can have overflowing empathy for those that do not know and see all as perfect and as it should be in the moment.
There is no more conditioned thinking, no more records playing in your unconscious mind as you have found them to be untrue and if by chance, an old one jumps in for one more rotation, you recognise it as false and let it be.
You are free and unencumbered by the chains of thought.
What are your feelings on death?
Do you think about it?
I know as a society we don't think of it as pleasant to explore but if you do, it will change the way you live while you are here and that is the first gift of realising death.
Embracing all that is NOW.
Whether it is the warmth of a cup of tea, the sound of the music you love, the rattle and sway of the train you are on, the sore muscles you have, the sadness in your heart or the joy in another's smile.
Explore it. Move beyond the beliefs and thoughts that have you trapped in form.
Start where you are now!